The World

Okay, so I'm trying to avoid packing, so I thought I'd type up this story beginning I found in one of my notebooks. I don't write a lot, so this is a bit rough, but fun!

( Read more... )

So, I tried to make French Onion Soup today. But a vegan version, so no beef broth or cheese. Which, now that I think about it, is pretty much what French Onion Soup is...

Anyway, I caramelized the onions, and they smelled SO DAMN GOOD. And then, instead of adding beef broth, I added red wine, water, soy sauce and a little white vinegar. Now my dorm smells like an alcoholic's esophagus, and the soup is pretty much ruined. Well, I say pretty much, but I'll let the alcohol cook out and see if it's any better.

:(

In other news, I'm testing the theory of making homework disappear by pretending it doesn't exist. School would be so much more fun if they didn't expect me to do anything.

When I was little, I would create storylines with everyday things (see: The Brave Little Toaster film).

For example, numbers. Specifically, multiplication.

See, when I was first learning multiplication, in third grade or so, I made up adventures that all the numbers went on that corresponded with the multiplication tables. 4 was the hero of my piece - he started with 1 (4x1), and slowly worked his way up into the 20s (4x5 is 20 - I imagined 5 as his mentor, depositing him in the 20s before leaving to go hang out with 6 - then we go to 4x6 (24), 4x7 (28)) before finally reaching the 'big bad', who was 8, for some reason. 7 was his henchman, until their tragic and climatic battle at 8x7, where 8 stabbed 7 in the back. So 4 defeats 4x8 (32) and continues on until he reaches kind and grandfatherly 10.

Okay, now that I've typed it all out, I realize I sound absolutely out of my mind. Maybe I am. But I have never forgotten my times tables.

(Character list:
1 - stupid, infantile
2 - the kindly friend of 1
3 - an asshole
4 - the hero of our story
5 - 4's mentor
6 - boring older brother who doesn't really give a shit
7 - stupid, evil henchman
8 - evil mastermind
9 - sort of an asshole, older brother of 3
10 - grandfatherly leader
11 and 12 - not important in our story; the other brothers who have already moved out of the house)

I've officially been using Linux (Ubuntu) for about a month now, and I must say that I love it.

Just saying.

A lot has happened in six weeks, but I can't seem to find the energy to update.

Actually, that's a lie. (I have a habit of embellishing the truth all the time. One of the biggest drawbacks to writing versus speaking - it's so easy to edit yourself in print).

I keep wanting to update, but then I feel guilty for not being available for so long - not reading my friendslist, not responding to comments, not updating or commenting or whatever - and I shy away from it.

In the past six weeks, I have:
1. learned that although I enjoy learning languages, I'm not very good at it. I have been studying Spanish on and off (mostly off) since I was in the first grade, and I can barely conjugate a verb correctly. Estaba estudiendo español...and that's about the extent of it. (I actually had to look up how to conjugate "estaba")

2. I have a huge, embarassing crush on one of my professors.

One of my gay professors.

3. I have managed to audition for many, many shows, student films and sound recordings, and I have not been called back for one of them. I am trying to not let it get me down, but I will admit that I call my mom a lot so that she can say "it's okay honey, you're the best!" and then I feel better.

4. My brother is more trouble than he's worth. But that's a novel in itself.

5. I have developed a love affair with glamour, despite a life-long abhorence of fashion, jewelry and makeup.

6. I ordered a pair of high heels last night. I live in New York and walk everywhere, so don't be surprised if I post saying I broke my ankle in them. Sidewalks can be treacherous.

7. I'm not nearly as apprehensive about the winter as I was last year (my first year in New York). Bring it on.

8. I went out to dinner by myself on Saturday and it was fantastic.

9. I am taking piano lessons and I haven't practiced at all this week. I feel bad for my poor piano teacher, who has to put up with my atrocious playing.

10. Everyone in my classes thinks I'm a weird lesbian. I am not one of those things (I'm a perfectly normal but rather confused college student, thank you). I don't mind the label, though - it's more interesting than 'the ugly blonde'.

It's the end of the week. Well, not technically - technically it's the first day of the week, but fuck that nonsense. It's the last day of the week.

I just finished writing a paper for my Russian Theatre class. This may be super-weird, but does anyone else go into a bit of a 'writing trance' when writing a paper. It's almost as though the words are just getting pounded out by my fingers without my brain really interfering, and then at some point I wake up, covered in drool, to find a page of perfectly typed academic nonsense. It's a trance, I'm telling you. Or possibly a sign that I need to start sleeping instead of relying on the angels of caffination to save me.

I'm going through a bit of a languages phase; basically, I go "Hey! Cool! I'm gonna learn a language", then I realize how much work it actually is and say, "no way in hell". What this basically translates to is that I know how to say Hello in about fifteen different languages, and that is the extent of my polyglot qualities.

I mean, really, I can't even speak English properly, and I've been speaking it for eighteen years (I was an early talker, and by all accounts, once I learned how to speak I never SHUT THE HELL UP).

I've also come to the decision that "The Old Curiosity Shop" is one of Dickens' worst novels ever. I'm mostly just reading it because I can't wait for saintly Little Nell to die, the bitch. One of the problems with academic libraries is that they only have 'classic literature' available to check out, so nothing pre-1900. Not even some Ian Flemming, which I think every academic library should have just to up their awesomeness factors. You win some, you lose some, I guess. I just think that they could free up a lot of shelf space if they took out all the classics - not the criticisms, just the novels with expired copyrights - and just handed out URLs to students. And then they could stock up on the Rushdie.

Just sayin'.

EDIT:
WHAAA, MEME TIME!
Take a picture of yourself
NOW
Don't change your hair
Don't do your makeup
The picture needs to be of how you look right this moment.
( this is the face that sunk a thousand ships )

I feel as though a Yeti just used my head as a pillow. I am absolutely, undeniably, irrevocably wiped out. I am so tired that this may, in fact, be entirely a dream, and when I hit 'send' on this post I will find myself in the Matrix. I am so tired that I even used the 'tired' emoticon with this LJ post, just to drive the point home even further through useless pictogram.

I am considering the merits of simply sleeping through the weekend, but I need to do laundry at some point in the next two days or terrible things will happen.

I also need to eat in a few hours, but I have no motivation to cook. In fact, the simple thought of it makes my brain curl up in fear and whimper in a dark corner of my skull. This will be an interesting evening.

So, sleep. I totally need it. Like, right now.

But I'm going to stay online instead.

I don't know what it is, but with every online journal I have I go through a period where I just don't feel like using it anymore. Then I delete it, then I make a new one and go through the whole process again. But this time - no more. I shall push through my rough patch this time, and UPDATE.

Um, so, updates.

I had the most painful dental experience of my life today. Not only was it at 8:00 am (on the only day I have of the whole week to sleep in) but the hygenist used some sort of ultrasound pick to scrape my teeth. I'm used to the plain ole metal pick, so this one was *weird*. It sprayed water all over my face, and she would run it over my gums (I think she was in a hurry) and it fucking HURT. Oh. My. God. Ow. I was bleeding for a good thirty minutes afterwards, and I don't have a sensitive mouth. No wonder people are scared of the dentist's office! And to add to it, the ultrasound on my teeth made my whole skull buzz. Ow.

And for something entirely different...I'm taking a Spanish class right now, so I think it would be really helpful for me to try and translate my posts into Spanish from now on. So this is where you can stop reading (unless you speak Spanish, then you should totally correct my atrocious grammar, because I know it stinks).

No se como lo está, pero con mis diarios todos finalmente no quiero usarlo nunca más, ya. Entonces, borrolo y produzco un diario nuevo y voy el proceso un vez más. Pero este tiempo - nunca más. Resolvo trabajar este tiempo y actualizarlo.

Pues, las actualizaciónes.

Tengo la experiencia más dolorosa de la dentista en mi vivo hoy. Fue las ocho en la mañana (y fue el solo día de la semana cuando puedo dormir tarde) y la dentista usado un pico de ultrasonido rayar los dientes. Hubido usar lost picos metálicos normales, y este pico fue extraño. Rocialo mi cara con agua, y ella ponele sobre mis encías (creo ella estuvo rápido) y hagole dolor. ¡ay dios mío! Ow. Estuvo sangrado para treinta minutos sobre, y no tengo una boca sensitiva. No sorpresa que más personas están asustado de la oficina de dentista. Y más, la ultrasonido en mis dientes fue muy mal y irritante.

Y para una cosa diferente...estudio español ahora, y quiero traducir mis entradas a español, para practicar. Si habla español, porfavor ayudarme si tiene tiempo!

So, I just go the most awesomest class schedule to ever awesome.
Here, have a sampling of my awesome:

really, really early: Wake up, and have a fresh pot of awesome coffee!
a bit later: shower and brush teeth with awesome toothpaste!
some time after that: Catch the awesome bus to class! If you miss the bus, walk an awesome 20 minute walk to campus!
(may I take a moment to mention that I do, in fact, live 'on campus', but I still have a 30 minute commute. Good one, NYU! Touche!)
8:00 am: Spanish, an awesome language!
9:30: awesome piano lesson!
11:00: History of the Russian Theatre, 1900-2008. Okay, maybe not so awesome.

Now, the only thing that could possibly increase the overall awesome potential would be a puppy, as shown in Hertgerger's 'Puppy' theorem*. That would make the level of awesome truely exceed any known reaches of awesome, and the world would - for a moment - be completely devoid of suffering and unhappiness.

So please, for the good of the world, someone hand me a puppy.

(*Hertzgerger's 'Puppy' Theorem: If the weight of the puppy exceeds x, and the general snuggle-ability of the puppy is greater than x^2x3y, then the overall awesome (represented here by 80x^3 times the recurrence of any awesome factors) will be exceedingly awesome)

Today was my last ESL class, since I move Sunday. I have a very interesting class. The ages and abilities of all the students are fairly varied, which makes lesson planning a very unique challenge. Plus, I'm pretty sure one of my students has a huge crush on me. He and his cousin spent the entire class talking to one another in Vietnamese and giggling, then looking at me, and on his paper he wrote "I love you" and "My english teacher is very helpful and I think she's pretty."

Hm.

Then there's the other student who uses the class as a jumping-off point for his career in preaching the good word through mariachi. He likes to start discussions with scripture and end with a little bit of rock'n'roll, which is always fun on a Tuesday evening.

I love all of my students, and I am definitely going to miss them. My Tuesday nights will be much less hilarious in the future, I can tell.

Just a heads up - I'm trying to pack and get everything together before I move back to NYC, so I won't be able to post much in the next few weeks. Talk to you all in September!

Since I'm sure that you, my dear friendslist, subscribed to my blog purely to hear my opinions on anything and everything, I will now share my thoughts on yaoi country music.

Now, I live in Texas (actually, a little backstory first: I am a student at NYU, and I'm from Texas. So during summer and winter breaks I live in Texas, and during the school year I live in New York City). I'm from Dallas, which is a little bit more on the Yankee side of this state - most of the Dallasites are actually northern transplants, like my parents. I am, however, like most asshole Texans, pretty proud of the fact that I'm from Texas until we do something really stupid (Tony Romo, I'm looking at you. Cry, bitch.)

There are several things I like about Dallas - air conditioning, which my dorm in New York didn't have, my knitting group, the art museums and the Dallas Symphony and the opera and the zoos. There are things I hate about Dallas, as well - the "Dallas Women", a collective of rich, blonde and plastic soccer moms, driving everywhere because nothing is within walking distance, the heat and humidity and, of course, the Dallas Cowboys who can't manage to advance to a goddamn superbowl when they are SO. FUCKING. CLOSE.

There is one thing I hate above most. Something that, upon hearing it, causes my skin to crawl and my colon to clench.

Country music.

I admit, Dallas isn't the center of country music - I have been to both Nashville and Memphis, and Dallas doesn't even begin to compare - but as a conservative city located in the south, it appears that we are required by unofficial state law to listen to country music. You get bonus points if you do it while cruising in your gas-guzzling pickup with gun rack strapped to the back and a "Get-R-Done" bumper sticker.

In highschool, I was surrounded by country music. My church choir once sang "Walkin' to Memphis" despite its utter lack of relevance to a church choir, and we even payed our respects to Loretta Lynn while en route to Tennessee. Suffice to say, I am up to my ass in country music, and I'm not real fond of it.

Which is why I've just filled up my iPod with country music in preparation for moving back to New York. I've found it is possibly the most perfect music to get revenge on loud floormates who insist on playing their music at 2:00 AM in the morning (I am looking at you, 1504!) Because I am a Texan, and I know my annoying country music. Loud music players, resistance is futile, for I have the knowledge of Toby Keith and none shall stop me.

My brother's new girlfriend has a puppy that she totes around *everywhere*. Including our house. This little dog is cute as a button, but very, very young (weaned waaaay too early - she's only 7 weeks old, and girfriend has had her for at least three weeks), not pottytrained, and has no shots. Oh, and girlfriend wants to sell her because she's 'annoying'. I'm pretty certain she gets fed table scraps, not puppy food, if she gets fed at all. And she is a scrapper! She bites everyone - I have some nice scratches all over my arms just from picking her up. But since she's little, everyone's like "Oh, what a cute little puppy!" Nuh-uh. She is cute, I'll admit it, but she's tiny! She should have an owner that protects her and trains* her, not one who allows her to be scared of everything and bite everyone. I have had to clean up so much dog shit in the last week and I'm beginning to get tired of it. My dog's starting to think it's okay to pee inside, now, too, which I'm so not cool with.

ARGH. I figure if puppies weren't so damn cute, no one would want the little idiots.

Okay, rant over.

*I know, she is a little young for training, but the biting needs to stop, like, now.

I like to make pancakes on the Foreman Grill. See, I am a horrible cook. It's a known fact, like the Earth is round and the government is probing aliens at Area 51. A tragic result of this unfortunate shortcoming is that I cannot flip pancakes. I can't. I end up with only pancake batter splattered all over the stove and bitter, bitter tears. So I use the Foreman Grill - no need to flip them! Haha! They don't show you that one in the commercial!

Now, the only problem that this poses is that the foreman grill is ridged, so I end up with pancakes that resemble sand dunes, in a much less dramatic and much more delicious way, of course. And since the grill is slanted, they kind of...drip down the grill so they're really more vertical than horizontal. Until I turn them sideways, then they're more horizontal.

I spent four hours yesterday organizing class materials for my ESL class. This is really something that I should have done at the beginning of the year (actually, the other teacher promised to do it, but no worries), because we have a lot of stuff that I totally didn't realize we had. You know, useful stuff that my students would have loved. Sorry, students.

I am, as of this moment, busy downloading Ubuntu, and will change over the family computer as soon as it finishes.

I have no knowledge of how computers work at all. I can barely operate Microsoft Power Point. I chose Ubuntu because Linux didn't make enough sense (I got to the "partitioning the harddrive" bit and surrendered).

What could possibly go wrong?

More importantly, do you think my family will notice if the operating system changes?

I have a terrible habit of going to the library and expecting everything to suck really, really badly.

Okay, let me explain. I will check out several books - usually 10-20 at a time - the walk out of the library going "I bet eight of them blow. Reading sucks." I will then usually read all 10-20 books, enjoy them, and then manage to disillusion myself in the five minute drive to the library and begin the process all over again.

It's a talent, truly. Sometimes my disillusionment prowess astounds even the most pessimistic of my friends, merely because the pessimists I know don't have the ability to hit the optimism wall before crumbling into half-empty again.

I should put it on my resume as a useful demoralizing tool.